Quiet Mornings

I am sitting here blogging the wee hours of the morning I use to hate mornings but now as a new mother I cherish the quiet moment I get in the early hours of the day. Kenzie is peacefully sleeping in her crib and Steven is slumbering as well. I have been thinking a lot this morning of what my life means to me and I decided that I need to write! this post may not make since or be profound in any way it is what it is, the sweet whisperings of my soul. I had a hard time last night putting Kenzie to bed she would not sleep. Finally I placed her in her car seat and put her on the dryer. She fell asleep and I was able to spend some much needed time with my husband watching a movie. I soon drifted to my own land of slumber as Steven stroked my hair I felt love peace and tranquility. at times I feel so much love and happiness around me and I morn the moment when I cant quiet my soul to listen to it. I been really struggling to put my anxieties to rest the last few weeks I feel such a turmoil in my heart that I forget the amazing things I have. My beautiful daughter who brings me so much love and joy in my life who makes me pull strengths from places I never knew before. my husband who besides my 10,000 imperfection will still wraps his arms around me and tell me he's the lucky one. I love feeling the spirit in my home. Love that is all around me is so profound that I know it will all be OK. I think of how much time I spend worrying about the stupid things in life like dishes and laundry and not taking time to really listen to the tender mercies in my life. like right now my little snuggle bear is laying in her crib cooing and exploring her new sense of voice she discovered this week and how fun it is to listen to her. I spent some time this morning reading about this women and what an amazing example she is to all of us. I saw her in Walgreens a few months back and recognized her from Oprah. It makes me realize that this is a gift we all have to be here and go through this life as hard as it is a times and as much as I hate myself in my dark moments. I know that I chose this to be part of the bigger picture. I love moments like this when I have a few minutes to reflect and listen to the quietness all around me. But my sweet baby brings me back to the regular duties of motherhood and I must leave this moment of solace to return to the busy world we all live in. And long to return to this space in my soul tomorrow morning.