This day is one of those

Today had been a bad day... drama has hit us from every side. Steven is about to start school again and I am still looking for a part time job. I guess Kenzie knew momma and poppa needed a brake because she has been good =) !!! after some hard chats and rivers of tears and a big pig out session of ice cream and good friends I feel OK, not good but OK. I really hate depression. His ugly face shows up and I feel totally drained and empty inside. I picture him just like a dementor from Harry Potter.

I think I doing well, and I have been. But today was bad. I hate the way I feel, they way I interact with my husband. the way I just want to isolate and hide. I got my self out of the rut a tad but it just sucks. sigh!!!!

I keep trying to think of things to make me feel better and I stared to think of songs. This song by Michel Mclean keep popping in to my head.

There will be days so toughYou'll wonder why you chose
Taking a path so rough
And trusting that heaven knows
And when you've had enough
Of climbing the rocky roads
You'll know on that day
You'll hear yourself say
This day is one of those

There'll be days that you feel
You could just do without
Other days that you want more of
Days of answers and hope
Days of questions and doubt
Days when you never knew you were loved
So here I am on my own
Exploring life's mysteries
On those days I'm alone
I feel a voice say to me

There will be days you'll swear
God's inspiration flows
There will be days in prayer
You'll ask him why it goes
There will be days he cares
More than you suppose

This day is one of
This day is one of
This day is one of... There will be days he cares
More than you suppose
This day is one of those

And I know that Steven and I are doing what we are suppose to be. and that we can not help what others chose to do. It hurts, it is sad, and I get really upset and a lot of past feelings of my self creep up. I just have to keep remembering that it all happens for a reason. And we must keep on going. And I am reminded of my R.S lesson on Sunday that god has a plan for us and nothing happens by coincidence and it will all work out. I am just having a real hard time seeing why right now. I know I will have better day's and that life will be calm at some point. I just have to have a little more faith that my Heavenly Father knows what he is doing and I will be OK.

I just need to keep on holding tight.